Movies I haven’t Seen But Already Want to Remake

23 Jul

So like many guys of my generation I grew up with GI Joe. It was the perfect combination of superheros and soldiers, the definatively evil cobra getting the crap kicked out of them by the bad-ass and virtuous US military. What more could a ten year old boy want? 

Well, they would want a Nerf gun that their mom wouldn’t let them have because it “simulated actual warfare”…but that’s besides the point. With every released clip the Hasbro/Paramount adaptation of my boyhood cartoon/action figure/comic book looks like well, crap.

Without having seen the full movie, the trailers and Comic Con clips have shown a film altering the GI Joe concept to make it globally marketable and PC. Far be it from me to say someone can’t make good money, I am a Republican after all, but such a production will most likely alienate the original fans who’d want to relive their childhood for a few hours.  

 But from my understanding it is fanboys who see movies in the theaters more than once and who run the blogosphere, not me mind you, but others out there. If the Joe movie does alienate fanboys it would seem to have inhibited the studio’s ability to make a sizable profit, so it would be counter productive to their capitalist intentions.

Course perhaps it’s Hasbro who wants to revamp the aged concept for a new generation of toy buyers. This makes total sense. A global GI Joe concept that is more sci-fi then its original would allow for a more complicated and accessorizable action figure potentially yielding more profits for the toy giant. That being said if the movie sucks and doesn’t become the next Transformers, then the revamp will be stuck in the mud with no media franchise to build around and spur sales.  

These are questions I have. Some may read this and think that I am a nerd bent on applying overly nerdy concepts to a simple blockbuster. This is a semi-valid point, as I am a nerd.  But if a cartoon/comic book wants to become a summer blockbuster it has to have two things: the cartoon/comicbook fans behind it and quality action. The fanboys are out, and if you want quality action why do the clips look like Iron Man junior with the accelerator suits and whatnot.

I just don’t understand it.

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