G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra Review

11 Aug

gi-joe-rise-of-cobra-20090202002123607_640wIt’s not that bad. Well, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be anyway. With the massive web driven negative hype surrounding this wannabe summer blockbuster, I was frankly impressed when the dialogue was in complete sentences.  That being said GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra raked in a solid $54 million, opening at number 1 over the weekend and 4th ever in the month of August.

This film adaptation of the classic action figure franchise turned successful cartoon and comic book makes the mistake alienating fanboys by betraying the source material, while not producing a good movie to make up for it.  With a cavalcade of B+ stars led by Sienna Miller, Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans and Dennis Quaid, GI Joe takes the viewer on a confused and poorly written journey through average CGI to a point of pure mediocrity.

The story begins following Duke (Tatum) and Ripcord (Wayans), two special forces NATO soldiers, whose mission is to protect four new nanotech weapons. When the convoy is ambushed by a high-tech super plane and platoon of storm trooper, Duke and Ripcord are the only survivors and join up with the GI Joe’s to get back their cargo.  After a classic training montage at the Pit, the Joe’s command center, with hundreds of “elite” soldiersrapelling , shooting, fighting and doing kung fu in the background like a 70’s Bond movie, the team goes after the lost warheads and yadda yadda yadda action happens.

The real problem with the movie, aside from the quality of the writing and direction and acting, is that the film never tries to transcend its campy and silly cartoon base to become more than just a way to sell toys. The story line and dialogue really remained very loyal to the 80’s-90’s cartoon show in which every episode Cobra trying to blow up the world by hiding bombs in teddy bears and the Joeswould swoop in the save the day with a hearty Yo Joe! and a series of bad one liners. If you don’t believe me watch below.

There is something in their to build a good blockbuster film on. I mean the Batman comics and cartoons that produced the Dark Knight weren’t much better quality. But Paramount missed the boat by not taking GI Joe to its core concept, which was a world built around a young boy’s perpetual fascination with the military.

It wasn’t about cool high tech gear or futuristic special effects, it was about a clear and obvious enemy being beaten by a semi-current military force.  If you take away everything else and build from there, plug in the $175 million Paramount spent in production, and you’d have satisfied two huge groups:  fanboys and fathers who grew up on GI Joe. What you’d get in return would be fanboys seeing the movie multiple times (and hyping it to their friends) and fathers taking their sons to see it, which by itself would have netted GI Joe a few hundred million and launched the action figure-  -cartoon-comic book franchise into a legit film franchise.

All that nerdness being said, $54 million is good cash money. But watch the second weekend numbers (especially with District 9 opening), GI Joe won’t have the staying power to reach true summer blockbuster status without the fanboys to prop it up. Just my two cents.

If you like GI Joe and want to see it done well watch GI Joe Resolute, the adult swim cartoon with a  much better take on the franchise.


One Response to “G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra Review”

  1. Heart Bracelet January 25, 2011 at 10:43 am #

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